Sade Okoya spills marriage secrets on her marriage to Chief Rasaq Okoya

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Well, their marriage has lasted for over 20 years now and they have got four lovely kids!

Speaking at her hubby’s 80th birthday at Oluwanishola Estate on the 11th of January, 2019, Sade in her special tribute took out time to speak on what she has done to make her marriage work.

“My Chairman, there is nothing I write today that would be news to you because you know everything about me. You are my Chairman, my darling husband, and my everything. I love you, just as you love me and I adore, respect and cherish you with all my heart and will forever do so. Both of us desired to make our marriage work, irrespective of the wide age difference, and I am thankful to God that we are all alive to witness the beautiful occasion of your 80th birthday and over 20 years of our marriage.

I knew when I got married to you, that it was I who had to adjust myself to fit into your life. You were in your 50s and fully formed, while I was still in my 20s. I never, therefore, made any attempt to change the way you did your things because I believe you were already used to your ways over the years and that trying to change you would be very unnecessary.

For me, marriage is about sacrifices; and since I did not want it to fail, I decided early in the day to sacrifice whatever was necessary. I studied your lifestyle and adjusted quickly; even though it was not easy, looking back now, I can say that it wasn’t really difficult. You made it much easier with your support, love and appreciation. I am now more mature, smarter and have a better understanding of everything and now see things from a different perspective. I now clearly understand why you wanted things done your way and I am very glad I complied without much ado.

You are a man of great stature and wisdom, and all you ever wanted was for me to hold the house and family together; but as a young girl in her twenties, this task did not look easy or interesting at the time. I thank God for the wisdom and understanding he gave me to be an obedient wife and I can say today that everything you wanted was important and in order.

We now understand ourselves better, and all I can say to you as you celebrate is that I love you very dearly and I am grateful to God for blessing me with you – a wonderful husband and great friend.

You have supported me all the way; and with you by my side and God is so faithful, I have been able to play the role you wanted me to play, able to plan well in the Okoya Family and to fit in properly.

I have learnt great lessons and wisdom from you that I can even offer some of the words of marriage counselling to other couples, especially women. We all need, wisdom from God to understand that our husbands need to be respected and appreciated and be able to trust us. They want us to be loyal to them and I thank God for helping me to provide these for you because they matter so much to you.

There is nothing that you have asked for that was too much; although it was difficult at the beginning, I have overcome with patience. I have learnt not to argue with you. This, in any case, was never a challenge to me as I am naturally a peaceful person; which is why I could accept that I am wrong, even when I know that I am right, for the sake of peace. I believe that the argument will not get anyone anywhere.

I didn’t think you took note of these, but you did and have come to respect me so much because of these sacrifices.

As a matter of fact, I knew I had to shower you all the respect, especially because of the age difference, but you have reciprocated in so many wonderful ways that nobody can imagine, and I am indeed grateful. I thank you for appreciating me so much and for your love. Once I made my choice of you, I knew there was no going back, irrespective of whatever people thought then of my early marriage and the age gap between us. I had resolved to stay married and, thankfully, God has blessed me immensely, through your reciprocated love, care and attention.

Failure wasn’t an option for me as I can never trade my loving family and the peace of mind it provides for anything. You have been a wonderful husband and I am very happy with you. You have respected and loved me; and my prayer is that our love shall continue to wax even stronger, that we shall continue to respect each other, and that we will never take each other for granted. You have not, in any way, taking me for granted. I am sure we both enjoy each other’s company. Moreover, I personally feel happy and blessed in our marriage. Together, we have four lovely children, for whom you have been a great dad.