A Nigerian marriage therapist, Shamseddin Giwa has said that even if a woman uses an aphrodisiac, wears sexy lingerie or cooks her husband’s favourite meals, the marriage won’t get better if the man is not equally willing and intentional about making it work.
“It’s 2024 people, why do we still dish out these advice to wives?,” he wrote in a Facebook post on Thursday.
“Use kaya’n mata (aphrodisiac), buy sexy lingerie, cook his favorite meal”.
Okay, in all the years, why haven’t the issues gotten better? It’s simple, it takes both spouses to make a marriage work.
You can get the sharpest aphrodisiacs, wear the skimpiest lingerie, cook continental meals but I tell you this; if your husband is not interested in putting in the effort to also make it work, the above will only frustrate you.
Connection is key and this is where you should begin from. One way to do this is effective nuptial communication. You also need to be able to understand the ‘why’ of your situation. I mean, why are you the only one trying to work on it?
Whatever answer you get, ensure it’s real. For instance, if the reason is because your husband doesn’t know better then this can be made better but if it is a reason like him having lost complete interest in you or worse where interest never really existed, it may be better for you to get with the reality and let it inform how you move forward.
