How to avoid relationship problems with women you are not dating

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It is actually possible to be the boyfriend of someone who is not your girlfriend.

If you thought relationship problems are reserved just for people in relationships, you are either so painfully naive or living life with some sort of soft-core denial. Either way, you have been thinking wrong all along.

When two people approach each other from their different backgrounds and with their separate set of individual beliefs, it is almost impossible for them to not experience some problems at some point in their relationship with each other.

It is possible that the transitioning from two separate people to a couple would be smooth and without bumps. Many people often hope to meet someone with whom they would have this type of seamless connection. It is also possible the process won’t be so smooth and there’s be hitches and misunderstandings before a perfect connection is attained. And that is actually OK, too.

A lot of people are fine with going through the occasional relationship issues, inasmuch as they are few and far in between and ultimately help to achieve a stronger bond and a more intimate closeness with the love of their lives.

That’s the thing: people are kinda fine with having relationship problems with the people they are in a relationship with, not people they have no romantic ties with.

But it happens. People get relationship problems with people they are not dating. And here’s why the problem arises: one person builds an emotional situation with another in their mind, refuses to communicate it with that other person but relates with him or her based on the state of affairs that has been created and exists solely in their mind.

Picture this: Chima and Chioma are both single, and are pretty close friends. Because of the intimacy and how long that platonic friendship has been, Chima may develop feelings for Chioma and start acting based on those feelings. When he starts relating with her based on those feelings, it may not be long before Chioma begins to have relationship problems with him even though she is not dating him.

One of the problems that results from situations like this include jealousy, becoming territorial with someone who was never yours to begin with, unexpressed anger and resentment among other things.

How do you avoid getting into this awkward situation with anyone? Simply be clear with whatever you are doing at all times. If you are friends with someone and want to keep it that way, let him or her know your position and keep reminding them tactfully with your actions and occasional vocal reminders. Operational word here is tactfully, as you may not want to jeopardise good friendships by having these awkward conversations in an undiplomatic manner.

One big sign that you are getting close to this unpleasant fix is the entitlement with which someone starts to relate with you. If there is anyone of the opposite sex in your life who relates to you with an undue or excessive sense of entitlement, you’re likely going to start having this problem with them.

In general, when some babe or guy around you starts doing too much, it may be time to sit them down and clarify things so no one is left in doubt as regards their place, position, role and title in your life.